She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
