Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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