I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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