He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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