margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
