please come you make the beer taste better
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
