honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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