So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
