were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
