I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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