Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Congratulations! We have a period
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
