Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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