What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
