I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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