oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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