just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
