Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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