Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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