forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
