Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
