her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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