I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
and you fell through a lawn chair
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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