I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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