She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We left the knife in your bed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Randomize
