Your tits are I can't wait for
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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