That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize