I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
