I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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