honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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