somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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