I wannas sexs uuuuu
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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