He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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