so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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