he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Someone shattered a urinal.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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