He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize