I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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