I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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