He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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