a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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