Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Did I show you my penis last night?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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