please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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