I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
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he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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