idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
