how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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