I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
where are you?
Hypothermia
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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