if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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