you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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