dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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