I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
