i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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