He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
