I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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