I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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