Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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