She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
