Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
