So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Can Purell be used as lube?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
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