"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
dude. I can hear the air.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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