i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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