just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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