ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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