There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
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These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
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I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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