Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
