that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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